Shaken Foundations

I recently read that there is a trend toward teenage abstinence. GOOD. At the same time, one has to wonder why. Perhaps it's because they are more aware of the risks (and nastier ones are arising all the time). Perhaps it's the economy, and the education many of them have concerning the cost of child care. Maybe it's the crowded state of the Earth, and teens are just more environmentally considerate. Or maybe, (to be fair, we can't leave this out) they've seen the toll being a single, uneducated Mother can have, and don't want to continue the cycle. In observing the parenting techniques of many of those who thought having a baby at sixteen would be so sweet, or make them the envy of other girls, or would make a boy stay and love her, it's difficult to overlook the impatience, harshness, and general ignorance that pervades the situation. Often, the Mother is overworked, left on her own, feels she has little or no recourse, and poorly educated. It has long been known that increased education directly corresponds with improved circumstances. It is often almost shocking to hear the accepted "norm" in the more crowded, poor districts, or the extremely rural areas that are overlooked by the politicians and fund providers for their lack of constituents. The first thing the children hear in the morning is a shout, insult, or scathing comment. It's also the last thing they hear at night, and their main emotional sustenance throughout the day. What a day it will be, when all parents can learn to find positive releases for their stress outside of the home, so the children will feel loved and safe inside the home. This includes the middle class and wealthy families. How often do parents take the time to say and- more importantly- show their children they are loved? Is the conversation limited to school grades, sports performance, social standing, and work? Is there even any form of conversation? Often times, parents fall into the trap of thinking they are working extra hard, or- worse- pushing their children extra hard for the benefit of the child. In the long run, it won't matter if they got a "B+" or an "A-" on the quiz. It won't matter if they were five minutes late for practice. What will matter will be whether the parents were physically AND emotionally "there" for the children. What will matter is whether Mother and Father can sit and help a child learn the concept or principle, so the child doesn't fear the quiz. Such things cannot be put off until later, they cannot be pushed off onto the shoulders of others, and they will never be replaced with some thing from the store. For, while money can buy false friends, it can never truly buy the trust and love of a child. And that is one of the most worth while gifts in the world.


"For, while you may be able to reschedule a business transaction, you will never be able to reschedule this moment with your child." -Unknown